A terceira temporada de Two and a Half Men foi transmitida entre setembro de 2005 e maio de 2006 pelo canal CBS.
3 - 1Fim de Semana com Dois Ginastas Olímpicos Sep. 19, 2005
3 - 2Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover Sep. 26, 2005
3 - 3Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Oct. 03, 2005
3 - 4Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs Oct. 10, 2005
3 - 5We Called It Mr. Pinky Oct. 17, 2005
3 - 6Hi, Mr. Horned One Oct. 24, 2005
3 - 7Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop Nov. 07, 2005
3 - 8That Voodoo That I Do Do Nov. 14, 2005
3 - 9Madame and Her Special Friend Nov. 21, 2005
3 - 10Something Salted and Twisted Nov. 28, 2005
3 - 11Santa's Village of the Damned Dec. 19, 2005
3 - 12That Special Tug Jan. 09, 2006
3 - 13Humiliation is a Visual Medium Jan. 23, 2006
3 - 14Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded Feb. 06, 2006
3 - 15My Tongue is Meat Feb. 27, 2006
3 - 16Ergo, The Booty Call Mar. 06, 2006
3 - 17The Unfortunate Little Schnauser Mar. 13, 2006
3 - 18The Spit-Covered Cobbler Mar. 20, 2006
3 - 19Golly Moses, She's A Muffin Apr. 10, 2006
3 - 20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro Apr. 24, 2006
3 - 21And the Plot Moistens May. 01, 2006
3 - 22Just Once With Aunt Sophie May. 09, 2006
3 - 23Arguments for the Quickie May. 15, 2006
3 - 24That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite May. 22, 2006